coaching

Have you ever been up against it?

Life is feeling a little messy, and your solution was, I just need to sort my life out then all this other stuff will be okay?

There’s three challenges with this, ‘I need to sort my life’ statement.

what is your sorted life like?

Very few of us have defined our sorted life.

  • What does that life look like?
  • What are you doing?
  • How are you being?
  • Who do you need to be in order to inhabit this sort of life?

your life isn’t static

The second challenge is that it’s your life. That beautiful, constantly evolving vehicle for being, experiencing, succeeding and failing. You’re designed to discover and adapt. You even do this subconsciously. Your life is dynamic, there is movement to it.

life is evolving

Your life is a beautiful, complex, constantly evolving, whirlpool of magic

A sorted life is static. A moment in time, before it becomes unsorted again. But it’s the unsorting and the resorting that’s where the magic happens. There’s only one time when your life is truly sorted. And that’s when you’re on the other side of it.

your life is exactly as you have createD it

The third challenge is that the statement of needing to get your life sorted hints at the deep, underlying belief that there’s something wrong with your life. For your life to be wrong, it needs to be a comparison but a comparison to what?

  • Somebody else’s life?
  • What you were taught your life was supposed to be?

If that’s what you’re going for, whose life will you end up living?

To sort is to categorise. Usually when we feel we need to sort our life out it’s due to a couple of areas that are bugging you. Having something in your life that bugs you, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not okay. Something bugs you because it rubs up against a value or a belief.

That’s the purpose of being bugged. It promotes awareness. It gives up an opportunity to explore what matters and what doesn’t. Is this value or belief still valid within the life I’ve created for me today? If that’s its purpose, then the unsorted bits are working for you. If it’s working for you, what’s left to sort out?

Using the need to sort out your life before moving on to the next chapter is an important signal to be on the lookout for because it’s a very elegant way of letting your inner fears determine your journey.

With any discomfort, there’s always a secondary benefit. The need to sort our life is a convenient way of feeling busy. Like we’re doing all the things but at the same time, we’re avoiding the important work.

comfort zone

While feeling that our life isn’t as it should be can be uncomfortable. That discomfort is far less than the discomfort of reaching past our comfort zone. There’s no rejection or failure involved in the circular reference of sorting your life.

That life is unlikely to be your truly authentic best life because it is built on a should. It’s based on who you’re letting determine the shoulds in your life.

Transforming the need to sort your life into something more helpful

It’s all about nudging rather than binning. Step back from your opinion of your life and notice what’s great about it.

celebrate

Feel that love or pride or gratitude build in your heart until it floods your body.

Celebrate everything that you’ve built so far.

Now you’re in a more helpful frame of mind, take a look at the area you want to upgrade.

  • Why do you want it to be different? Why now?
  • How would you like it to be different?
  • What would that difference bring to your life?

Listen for the stirring. Don’t wait until the cry for transformation builds to the crescendo of I need to sort my life. Be proactive. Update one small area at a time.

weekly review

In your weekly reflection consider each aspect of your life and ask yourself this question.

Where will your energy, your focus, and your attention generate the greatest return?

Often there’s a core piece which when updated unlocks multiple parts of the puzzle. So start there.

You don’t need to indulge in the overwhelm setting your nervous system into survival mode. Relax into it and tell yourself it’s okay. I’m just going to tweak this one little thing over here.

your life is a reflection of where you placed your attention

Your life reflects who you are and where you’ve placed your attention over the last three months. If it’s not working for you, the good news is that in a week’s time, your life will already be beginning to reflect back where you consistently placed your attention this week.

So what if instead of being in need of a good sort, your life was working perfectly for you. It just needs a little nudge from time to time.